“I’m consumed with regret for the things I didn’t do, the choices I didn’t make, the things I didn’t say. We spend so much time being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection. But regret is the thing we should fear most. Failure is an answer. Rejection is an answer. Regret is an eternal question you will never have the answer to. ‘What if…’ ‘If only…’ ‘I wonder what would have…’ You will never, never know, and it will haunt you for the rest of your days.”

Trevor Noah has a major point about what we project so much paralyzing fear and attention on: rejection. Failure and rejection give us feedback. They can’t say yes if you don’t ask. They can’t say yes if you’re afraid of a few no’s. Maybe a lot of no’s. Each time you get a no, you can reassess your approach, your delivery, your content, and/or try again, start over. What you really should fear is the regret you’re going to have when you chose not to try things, not to put yourself out there.

Sometimes that means doing something hard. Fellow…

During the Pandemic our lives have become more screen-based than ever— and that is saying something. We Zoom, we do our social media, we game, we yoga, we take classes, we research, we livestream, we write, we hit up Google to prove we’re right about who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2016.

All online.

Our eyes can only take so much screen time. Digital eye strain is a real thing.

It’s not just what our eyes are telling us. Our brains are telling us something too, and it’s about how we learn. We are also learning to connect…

Remember those Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books? I loved them when I was a kid. So much, in fact, that as an adult I tried to launch a book company called Game Time Books which were interactive-fiction books for youth. They were fun and challenging to write. I published three and have seven more unpublished (which hurts to think about to this day).

It took about a year-and-a-half for the company to run out of money. I failed.

For a long time, I was bitter about the circumstances that led to my failure. It was a financial disaster and massive waste of effort…

For many, desire is a four-letter word. It’s a cliche in a rock song that all-too-conveniently rhymes with fire. U2’s Bono says this about their song “Desire”:

“Sometimes, I come across as if I got into U2 to save the world, whereas I got into U2 to save my own ass. ‘Desire’ is my way out. In Downtown LA, South Central LA, the people have different ways out. The crack dealers, that’s their escape…I’m not passing judgment. It’s their only way out. I’ve found mine. I’m singing about sex!”

That’s just it: desire leads you out. Paying attention to your…

This quote is an incredible summary of some of the most powerful statements about personal transformation. We have emphasized in other from the Two-Minute Takeaway readings that it begins with you, the “self.” We have emphasized that one of the possible doors through which healing and growth occurs is through a pain, scar, or trauma.

We have also covered how hopefulness and courage can always make what doesn’t seem possible, possible. We have seen examples of how helping others, serving others, is a way to greater fulfillment. This captures all of that, and also speaks to the transformation of suffering.

…

Change in the United States has come slowly. Partly there are discriminatory practices that are layered upon layers so that there is always plausible deniability to social conditions. There is also the way we destroy failing institutions and simply ignore or refuse to talk about the past. These actions (or inactions) literally “whitewash” history.

The unrest we saw in 2020 has led to more open, vulnerable, and authentic discussions about these issues into this young decade. Here at the start of Black History Month, we want to give voice to these issues.

During times of unrest, the same discussions resurface…

When the shine wears off the habits we’re trying to form, when we begin to merely show up rather than put in the hard work of consistent, effortful focus, we lose hold of the very skill we’re trying to develop. Trusting the process implies patience and that you’re aware you’re taking a long-view approach. But it also implies that you take very seriously the small micro-task in front of you.

Do each step of the journey with your whole attention. …

You Become What You Do

You hear the idea a lot. James Clear’s Atomic Habits just passed the 3 million sales mark for good reason. Habits (the ones we break and the ones we make) are as important as ever, especially now that we’re spending more of our time at home. I’m in the middle of a “Dry January” as a case in point.

You already recognize it’s the process of your actions that lead to improved outcomes. The problem is the story. The story you tell yourself.

Not all of your story is a problem. Parts of your story got you to this point…